Wave goodbye to the Sisyphean task of trying to define what you are to each other. Gone are the hours spent wondering why someone hasn’t texted you back. Given the complexities of the contemporary dating landscape, which has now been gamified beyond repair by apps, it’s not hard to see the appeal of transactional sex. And the woman who booty-called an old flame, only to have fallen asleep by the time he’d arrived, leaving him stranded on her doorstep. The gay man whose booty calls defined his single days and nights (“It just hit the spot”) until he got into a relationship. There was the woman who booty-called two men at once in the hope of doubling her chances for sex that night, only to find that both arrived at the same time and wound up bonding over football. This much was clear after I put a call out on my social media platforms for stories of people’s booty calls and was inundated with tales. And ever since the pandemic forced single people into an unprecedented period of celibacy, it seems like these kind of encounters are happening more than ever. The more debauched and X-rated they are, the better. You know, the ones you’ll be forced to regurgitate to your bored married friends, who’ll share them at the school gates and thank you for keeping them young. In the canon of sexual escapades, it’s the booty calls that often provide the most salacious stories.
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